何去何从？

考研
何处去？
打开的山路
多崎径
那方是
正道？

未来
何处寻？
深处的呼唤
多回音
哪人愿
为伴？

Young lady

Long since I last loved a person

At time I think to myself

do I still able to love? 

Sometime I doubt

and I thought

I might not be able to love again

not as affectionately as I was

Maybe 

I can only love

by choice

Yet I wish to love. 

I want to love. 

I want to 

give, to 

care, to 

lead, to 

protect a lady. 

I need her. 

I need accompaniment. 

I need a helper.

True indeed, that 

God is my greatest helper and companion. 

He never forsaken nor leaved me. 

Yet, 

by His grace and unsearchable wisdom, 

He created for man 

woman.

“I am too young for you!”
But you are already a fully grown woman. 

Should I wait till you are 30? 

That is not good for your health to be mother at a high age.

“I am spiritually not mature!”
But I am not perfect either. 

Should not we grow together? 

Should I not, 

if I am really more mature than you spiritually, (as you say)

serve and lead you with such maturity?

“I am busy with study now, I need to be focus!”
But when you graduate, then 

you will be busy with your work. 

Since when do we really be free 

to have time for relationship? 

Marriage is a commitment, 

it is a choice.

泣

外面
雨
滴答滴答

里面
泣
刷拉刷拉

不明
心
乱七糟八

主啊
罪
几时能罢？

不满足

她
太远了
机会
过去了
也许我们
适合彼此
终点一致
那又如何？
没有交集的螺旋体
到底不是
交织在一起的身体

她
说她太年轻
我想
也许是我太老了
她以为不够成熟
我想
是我还不懂
温柔的带领

她
不能明白
为何会看上她
没有答案
也许      她
不能理解
所以没有
安全感
所以      就
努力读书去了

她
更远了
太远了
算了

哦
主啊！
还要多久呢？
求你
让我单单
满足于
你

Long journey

This is a long journey
Not because of the distance
Far stretching to the invisible end
But of not knowing where finishing line lies
Frustrated of unknown time to the end
Yet, by His Spirit
long suffering soul refined

This is a long journey
Not Because of the adversary
Ceaseless mocking, intimidating, tempting
But lack of comrades together fighting
In unity marching with intensity
Yet, in His Spirit
Strength to provide infinitely

This is a long journey
Not because of the field
Along the path boring and thorny
But the lack of company
Hence the loneliness that kill
Yet, with His Spirit
Helper, Counselor never leave

1 br8fast 4 2

两份英式早餐
一个人吃
所以
一份作午餐
另一份
晚餐
其实那食物
蛮不错的
咖啡也
很香美
只是
这个单人食客
也太过
那个了

***

想起那次回家乡
约了两个高中朋友
晚餐      叙旧
结果变成了      
辩论之                 非死不可            篇
久违的聚会如此收场
难免有点惆怅
唯一感到欣慰的是
她们如此生龙活虎
口沫横飞
活着      就是
好事

***

今年有好几场地婚礼
今天就有一场
不过我给            逃了
有些      我是后知后觉
知道后
“为什么没有人跟我讲的？”
（好像通知邀请我是理所当然的）
“不是没有讲，是你没有非死不可咯！”
（这句话            前后逻辑不是太对吧？）

这样的理由
我还有什么可以说呢？
难道      要告诉他们
这个世界
有样东西叫       手机？
有样程序叫       电邮？
有个职业叫       邮差？

其实
很想告诉他们
某学妹
知道我没有非死不可
所以就哇死吖
预约我明年参加她的婚礼
某同学
知道我没有非死不可
所以就短信我
邀我十一月参加她的婚宴
还有一个
八宿妹子哥们
四年没有联络
突然间短信我
邀请我参加他们十二月的婚礼

***

所以说
人生
知己难寻
良偶难求
若有一二
当
知恩
珍惜

伴

“It is great to have a companion whose strengths cover my weaknesses and whose love covers my sins.”
Edward T. Welch

那是《脑袋惹的祸》的
作者的谢序中
给予他太太的谢词
我想
他们是
幸福的

过去几年里
爱过最深的她
已经婚了

去年
也许跟另一个她
有那么一点机会
然后
她飞了

这一年下来
心想      那
也许对我们都好
不够爱她
不懂爱她
越认识她
越觉得
我不配

也许
她不是我的伴
也不会是
总觉得她和他 
好像（快？）在一起了

也许
我
还不懂得
伴
所以
还得等

我愿意
求主帮助

婚

她
结婚了

知道她
要结婚时
还想说到底
去不去她的婚礼
心底深处
也许不想去
所以口头上推说
她
没有请

那天到了
我不需要想
因为她
没有请
而且
学校有任务
（来得真合时）
也去不成
心底深处
也将这事            算是
放了

也许有点后悔
也许该去
偶尔会想
如果去了
会为他们做些什么
《主祷文》       是
我为他们献上的
祝福

愿天上的父      
创造男人女人
设立婚姻的上帝
使这婚姻成圣
叫上帝的名因此被尊为圣
愿上帝的国
降临在这家庭
愿上帝的旨意
藉这对新人的联合
行在他们一生人中

赐个他们每天
身           心           灵
的粮食
使他们不但有爱情
也有面包
饶恕他们的罪
使他们也彼此饶恕
保守他们免于试探
拯救他们脱离各样破坏爱约的人事物

因为
国度      权柄      荣耀
全是主上帝你的
愿
他们的婚姻
荣耀您的圣名
阿门

忘老

人老了
竟然忘记了
人
是会变老
变慢
人
是会改变的

Why do we have Dress Code (in MCKL)?!

First attempt: simple but brutal answer
Because this is MCKL (or any other institute or agency or whatever), so MCKL has the authority to make rules for anyone related to it. Since we decided to have dress code, so that is. Period.

Second attempt: more philosophical, sociological answer
Have you ever think of why man (I mean human kind when I use ‘man’, aint not sexist here.) wear clothes? Have you ever think of why we wear formal on first day, your lecturers or college staffs wear formal every day, when you attend some important dinner or ball, you get dressed up (ever think of why we use the word ‘up’ instead of ‘dressed down’?) Why no sane person will ever wear bikini to shopping mall and go for a movie? Why, and how, do we actually define some set of wear as ‘formal’, ‘casual’, ‘informal’, ‘smart casual’ and etc.? What is the standard, or if there is any, for clothing?

So I believe there is a standard, although this standard is, to certain extend, subjective and relative to culture to culture, from a civilization to another. But nevertheless, there IS a standard, the objective absoluteness is that there IS a standard, however that standard is. Hence we have a culture here, a standard here, and we hope that this standard will produce a certain degree of respect of ourselves and people around us.

How does our dress code show respect to you? First, you are precious, and not all people deserve and have the right to see most of the thing, if not all of the thing, that God had fashioned you. I know Malaysia is a hot country, KL is a hot city, and all MCKL-ian are hot, so we always want to wear less (including myself). But we do not simply expose our body parts, especially sensitive part, to others who are not our wives or husband. The people who do that, we usually identify them as insane people as those we see on the street. (no offense, they are poor people and need our pity.)

Second, you want people to look at you at the right place. Yes, I mean the RIGHT place, not the wrong place. Imagine if you are talking to a guy, and he keep looking at your cleave because you wear a bit low, how would you feel? I’m not saying that guy should do that, (I am a guy!) but we are sinner, we are weak, and ladies, we need your help to be a gentlemen!

Thirdly, we hope that keep you all safe as well, both guys and girls. Not just physically, but psychologically and emotionally as well. I have seen enough hurts because of relationship, sexual violence. We know there is a lot out there. I do believe that this clothing will help.

Now I want to end this section with this: some time ago I saw a post on Facebook, some one of my friend, a Christian sister, she shared a picture. In that picture, a young pretty lady hold up a sign board, saying, “Don’t tell us what to wear, tell them not to rape!” When I think of that, I feel very sad, very very sad. I am a man, I know what goes on in man’s mind. I did not rape any woman before physically, but if I am honest with myself, and to you all, I’m not sure how many times I had committed that violence in my mind. Such sinful person I am, no? I would not blame the woman for wearing less, for what the man did is just wrong. Man was created with stronger physique so that we can protect, not to abuse, woman. But who can save us, men, from this lust? Jesus Christ is the only one that saves. He died for all our sins and resurrected three days later to show that He has the power to overcome death, where death is the consequence of sin, hence he also conquer the sting of sin as well. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old had past, and everything is anew.

But dear ladies, may I say something to you? Let me be honest to you, that if you would wear a little bit different, you will really help me? I know you have your freedom, you have your right to wear whatever you want, you have liberty to choose to cover or expose your body, of which created by God in such a way that is certain to catch a lot of eye balls. But after you hear how weak we men are, will you care and sacrifice a bit of your freedom, that for the sake that we can be better men, that you wear a bit more? Will you help us to be a real man?

Third attempt: biblical answer
Well, i need more time on this. Catch up with me on this another day ;)