Saturday, November 8, 2014

电影史

高一那年,开始爱看电影。当时考了摩托车,几乎每个星期三都会去看部电影。那时,一部戏才五令吉。高三时,有时会一天看两场。下课后,看了三点场,去间餐厅吃晚饭,歇息做作业,然后七点场,晚上九时许才回家。

喜欢看电影。以前很爱幻想自己是主角、英雄之类,后来比较多是当自己是悲剧、配角。再长大些时,更多是代入角色,去感受戏里每个人物的思想、情绪、挣扎。所以比起武打动作片,更喜欢剧情片。让自己化为戏里人物,戏假情真,演化小丑的晦暗,铁达尼号杰克对生命的热情,无间道的矛盾……当感动的流泪时,发现自己原来还活着,也许,这是证明自己真正存在、活着的记号。

常常一个人看电影。不是要搞孤寂。高一那年面对很多人情世故(还是我将自己演化成了悲剧?)所以刻意远离人群。或许是为了逃避,也许封闭了自己。其实是很想有个人,只是一个人,陪伴。只是,谁愿意?

后来,开始有点,慢慢地更多地,喜欢自己演戏,也参与了一些的舞台表演。在少年营会里演绎‘白粉仔’,战抖的手、吸食白粉的表情,为我夺了人生第一个最佳男主角(目前来说,也是唯一一个)。后来大二参与大专团契的音乐剧,才真正的经历面试、背稿、排演和最终的演出。很多照片在我之前的手提电脑,当机后就流失了,欲哭无泪。唯一留下的,就只有这一张背影了。

有时会想,“有没有机会真的参与演艺事业呢?”

呵呵,有些梦想,留在梦乡就好。





















后记:在网上又找到了一张。女的是我在剧中的‘女朋友’。


Sunday, November 2, 2014

何去何从?

考研
何处去?
打开的山路
多崎径
那方是
正道?


未来
何处寻?
深处的呼唤
多回音
哪人愿
为伴?

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Young lady

Long since I last loved a person
At time I think to myself
do I still able to love? 
Sometime I doubt
and I thought
I might not be able to love again
not as affectionately as I was
Maybe 
I can only love
by choice

Yet I wish to love. 
I want to love. 
I want to 
give, to 
care, to 
lead, to 
protect a lady. 
I need her. 
I need accompaniment. 
I need a helper.

True indeed, that 
God is my greatest helper and companion. 
He never forsaken nor leaved me. 
Yet, 
by His grace and unsearchable wisdom, 
He created for man 
woman.

“I am too young for you!”
But you are already a fully grown woman. 
Should I wait till you are 30? 
That is not good for your health to be mother at a high age.

“I am spiritually not mature!”
But I am not perfect either. 
Should not we grow together? 
Should I not, 
if I am really more mature than you spiritually, (as you say)
serve and lead you with such maturity?


“I am busy with study now, I need to be focus!”
But when you graduate, then 
you will be busy with your work. 
Since when do we really be free 
to have time for relationship? 
Marriage is a commitment, 
it is a choice.